I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
