was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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