We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
