he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
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Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
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I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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