I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize