but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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