If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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