i will never coherently bang her
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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