He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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