I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
