found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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