I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
