Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
