The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
