Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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