C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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