I forgot how hot balto sounded
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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