she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
is it fun? or sober?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
