Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
