You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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