halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
