I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
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im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
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Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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