THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
