My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
