Everything about him screamed your future.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My ATM looks so different sober.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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