i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Randomize
