if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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