i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I accidentally burped into my bong.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she told me i tasted like america
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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