I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
