sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
