your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
