all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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