Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
