im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Let's paint friendship bongs
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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