At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
