I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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