I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
