Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
