i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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