HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize