I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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