so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
