no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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