Sponge bath it is.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize