love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
