5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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