Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You work out of a Hotel?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Randomize
