lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
