I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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