Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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