I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
