Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
