Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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