batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
