I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Even my vagina gasped.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
