Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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