i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
handjob tips. give me some.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
