did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
