We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
