and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
