found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
