Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
