She's JV to your varsity
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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