Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
