He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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